Our trying to conceive (TTC) story starts a decade ago in 2007 when my husband underwent a vasectomy reversal. With only one side reconnected we knew we were fighting an uphill battle and his sperm analysis confirmed that conceiving without In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) would be a miracle. We actively tried TTC until 2013. Not once did we see those sought after two pink lines and in 2013, I officially “gave up” my hopes for a baby. Within a few months, my best friend announced her own pregnancy while left me jealous and resentful. I spiraled into a deep depression, becoming unrecognizable to family and friends. My marriage was failing. My faith was shattered. But in the middle of 2015, I gave the weight of my depression to God and with grace and counseling, we rebuilt our splintering marriage and sought medical assistance with our infertility. We underwent three Intrauterine Insemination (IUI)’s which resulted in negatives. We buckled down and pursued IVF with Intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI). After an aggressive stim cycle, we were blessed with the news that we had 6 embryos we would be able to freeze. A month passed and on May 25, we implanted a single embryo and after the longest ten days of my life, we were thrilled to find out that our cycle worked. Our embryo implanted and on January 21, 2017, our miracle baby came into this world. It took almost ten years but I truly believe this happened in the right time for our family. Fertility is a war and we are all warriors, no matter how long it takes to get to our goal each battle gets us closer to success.
Bob and I are enjoying life with a toddler. Well, toddlerhood can be trying so we are enjoying as much as we can! I definitely feel grateful for every moment I and look onto this challenging time with respect for any parent who survives toddlerhood. It’s an opportunity to learn about showing grace and remembering it for myself.
My best advice to someone just starting this journey is don’t overthink things, especially pregnancy symptoms. Advocate for yourself. Never assume things are done for you. Ask for what you want. Be kind to the people who are helping you and it will go a long way.
One of the questions I struggle with now is what to do with our remaining embryos. Our family is complete. I know there are families out there waiting to start a family and they might need an embryo to complete that process. But I struggle with the decision to donate them. For now we keep our remaining embryos in storage.
No matter what we know this was our plan and we are confident in the choices that led us here.
